Consent Conversation Builder

Consent can feel awkward to talk about when people worry that asking directly will interrupt the mood. In practice, clear language often removes uncertainty. The Consent Conversation Builder gives you examples of simple phrases for common situations so you can start the conversation without guessing what the other person wants.

The tool is not a script that you have to repeat word for word. Its purpose is to show how consent conversations can sound when they are direct, respectful and easy to answer honestly.

What situations does the tool cover?

• A first sexual experience together
• Trying something new
• Talking about condoms, contraception or STI testing
• Changing your mind or asking to stop
• Checking in during intimacy

How to use the builder

1. Choose the situation that best matches the conversation you want to have.
2. Select Build Conversation Starters.
3. Read the suggested phrases and choose the wording that feels natural to you.
4. Adapt the phrasing without changing its meaning or adding pressure.
5. Give the other person room to answer, hesitate, ask questions or say No.

Good consent questions make more than one answer possible. A question such as “Would you like to keep going?” works only if the other person can comfortably answer No. Repeated asking, guilt, threats, bargaining or making someone responsible for your disappointment can turn a question into pressure.

Consent can also change during an experience. Someone can agree to one activity and decline another. Someone can start an activity and then decide to pause. Checking in is useful when the situation changes, when a partner becomes quiet or uncertain, or when you simply want to make sure both people still feel comfortable.

What the tool cannot decide

The builder cannot tell you whether another person consents. Only the person involved can communicate that. It also cannot make an impaired, pressured or fearful situation safe simply by supplying the right words.

Privacy

We do not store any data or send it to an external service.

Use these prompts as a starting point for clearer communication. The goal is not to make consent sound formal. The goal is to make it easy for both people to say what they actually want.

Frequently Asked Questions

What does the Consent Conversation Builder do?

It generates example phrases for common consent conversations, including asking, checking in, changing direction and stopping.

Do I need to use the exact wording?

No. Adapt the phrases to your own voice while keeping the question clear and pressure-free.

Does asking once mean consent lasts for the whole encounter?

No. Consent is specific and can change. A person can agree to one activity and decline another, or change their mind later.

What if the other person seems unsure?

Treat uncertainty as a reason to slow down or stop. Give the person space to decide without repeatedly asking for a different answer.

Can the tool tell me whether someone has consented?

No. The tool provides conversation starters only. It cannot interpret another person’s consent for you.

Are my selections saved?

No. We do not store any data or send it to an external service.

Can consent be withdrawn after saying Yes?

Yes. Anyone can change their mind at any point. A previous Yes does not create an obligation to continue.