Relationship Behaviour & Flag Checker

Not every relationship is easy to evaluate from the inside. When you are emotionally invested in someone, it can be hard to see clearly whether what you are experiencing is a healthy partnership or one with serious warning signs. Our Relationship Green / Red Flag Checker gives you an honest, structured reflection that helps you identify both the strengths worth celebrating and the patterns worth examining, without judgment.

Why Use Our Green / Red Flag Checker?

• 20 green flag behaviours covering the qualities that define a healthy, mutually respectful relationship.
• 20 red flag warning signs based on recognised patterns of unhealthy or harmful relationship dynamics.
• Dual-tab interface keeps green and red flags clearly separated so you can assess each honestly.
• Weighted assessment algorithm produces one of five results, from Thriving to Serious Concern, based on your actual tick pattern.
• Compassionate, non-alarmist results that acknowledge the complexity of real relationships without being dismissive.
• Works for any relationship stage, including dating, long-term partnership, or marriage.
• Completely private and free. No data is stored or shared.

Our Relationship Green / Red Flag Checker is perfect for:

• Anyone in a new relationship who wants a structured way to assess how things are going beyond the honeymoon feeling.
• People who have been in a relationship for a while and feel something is “off” but cannot pinpoint what.
• Those who have recently come out of a difficult relationship and want to reflect on the patterns with clearer eyes.
• Friends or family members supporting someone who may be in an unhealthy relationship and looking for a gentle entry point.
• Anyone who wants to celebrate and acknowledge the genuinely good things in their relationship alongside areas for growth.

How to Use the Relationship Green / Red Flag Checker:

1. Start on the Green Flags tab and tick every statement that honestly applies to your current relationship.
2. Switch to the Red Flags tab and tick every statement that applies. Be honest with yourself.
3. Click “Check My Results” to see your assessment.
4. Read your overall assessment and the detailed explanation carefully.
5. If any red flags concern you, consider speaking with a trusted friend, counsellor, or relationship therapist.

This tool is a starting point for reflection, not a clinical diagnosis. If your results indicate serious concerns, please know that support is available. Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect, trust, and safety, and you deserve all three.

Frequently Asked Questions

What counts as a red flag versus just a relationship problem?

Red flags are patterns of behaviour, particularly those involving control, disrespect, manipulation, or emotional harm, that suggest something fundamentally unhealthy about the dynamic. Regular relationship problems such as disagreements, communication struggles, and different needs are normal and workable. Red flags tend to be more persistent, one-sided, and resistant to change. The key distinction is whether both partners acknowledge and work on issues, or whether one partner consistently dismisses, deflects, or escalates.

Can a relationship have both green and red flags at the same time?

Yes. In fact, most relationships do to some degree. The balance matters more than the presence of either alone. A relationship with many green flags and one or two red flags may simply have an area that needs attention. A relationship with very few green flags and several red flags is worth examining much more carefully. The assessment takes this balance into account.

What should I do if I tick a lot of red flags?

First, be gentle with yourself. Recognising patterns is an important step. If you have ticked multiple red flags, consider speaking with someone you trust: a close friend, a family member, or a professional therapist or counsellor. If any of the red flags involve safety, physical harm, coercive control, or threats, please reach out to an appropriate domestic abuse support service in your region.

Is this tool useful if I am not currently in a relationship?

Yes. You can use it to reflect on a past relationship with the distance of hindsight. Many people find this helpful for identifying patterns they want to avoid in future relationships. You can also use it as a framework for what to watch for in early dating, before strong feelings make objective observation harder.

Does ticking a green flag mean everything is perfect in that area?

Not necessarily. Green flags indicate the presence of healthy behaviours and qualities, not perfection. A relationship can be genuinely loving and respectful while still having areas for growth and improvement. The green flags checklist is also a useful reminder of what you are doing well, something couples often forget to acknowledge.