Sexual Boundaries & Preferences Checklist

Talking about sexual boundaries before an intimate moment can make communication clearer and reduce pressure. The Sexual Boundaries & Preferences Checklist gives two adults a structured way to compare what feels comfortable, what feels uncertain and what each person would rather avoid.

The tool does not score your relationship. It also does not treat a boundary as a problem to solve. A No stays out of the negotiation list, while mutual Yes answers and areas where both people remain open to discussion are shown separately.

What does this tool cover?

• Kissing, cuddling and affectionate touch
• Nudity and sexual touch
• Trying new sexual activities
• Condoms, barriers and contraception
• STI testing before changing protection
• Intimate messages and images
• Aftercare, closeness and personal space

How to use the checklist

1. Person 1 completes their answers privately.
2. Person 2 completes the same list based on what feels true for them now.
3. Choose Yes, Maybe, Want to Discuss or No for each item.
4. Select Compare Safely when both people have finished.
5. Review the mutual Yes items first, then talk through any discussion topics without pressure.

A mutual Yes does not create permanent consent. It only shows that both people selected Yes while using the tool. Either person can change their mind later, including during an intimate situation.

A Maybe or Want to Discuss answer means more conversation may help. Ask what conditions would make the person comfortable, whether they need more information, or whether they would prefer to leave the topic alone for now. Nobody needs to turn uncertainty into agreement.

Why boundaries can change

Comfort can change with trust, health, stress, privacy, relationship context, previous experiences and the specific situation. Someone who felt comfortable with an activity before can say No now. Someone who previously said No may later choose differently. The current answer is what matters.

Privacy

We do not store any data or send it to an external service.

Use the checklist as a conversation aid, not as permission. The useful outcome is a clearer understanding of what both people genuinely want and what should remain off the table.

Frequently Asked Questions

What does the Sexual Boundaries & Preferences Checklist show?

It shows mutual Yes answers and topics where neither person selected No. It does not display a No as something that should be negotiated.

Does a mutual Yes count as consent?

No. It shows what both people selected while using the tool. Consent still needs to be voluntary, specific and ongoing in the actual situation.

What happens when one person selects No?

That item is not placed in the discussion list. A No does not need to be justified or converted into a compromise.

Can I use the tool by myself?

Yes. You can use one side as a private reflection exercise, although the comparison feature works best when two people complete it independently.

Are my answers stored?

No. We do not store any data or send it to an external service.

What if our answers are very different?

Differences are useful information. Focus on understanding each person’s comfort level rather than trying to make the answers match.

Can boundaries change later?

Yes. Boundaries can change at any time. A previous answer never removes someone’s right to pause, stop or choose differently later.